


Adored by Him (and other works)

by moltenvintagelacedress



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/M, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Sad, inconclusive ending, take this as u will, u figure out the ending lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-01 07:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8614621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moltenvintagelacedress/pseuds/moltenvintagelacedress
Summary: Katsuki Yuuri has fallen deep into the infinite void that is love. Not intentionally mind you- he knew Victor was straight, he knew that he would only ever be his coach, but every time Victor's girlfriend showed up and he looked at her like she's the only thing that mattered- Yuuri felt himself falling a part bit by fucking bit until, finally, he breaks.





	1. Adored by Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alex my best friend](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=alex+my+best+friend).



> edit: I am actually making this a Slight series like theyre kinda interconnecting but you dont have to read all of them aight

Katsuki Yuuri never expected he'd fall in love. The entire concept of meeting someone and suddenly their entire life resolves around them is utterly insane and downright fucking mind boggling to him. It isn't as if he hadn't ever imagined it; no, he'd imagined it a plethora of times. But never with a boy, never with a celebrity, and never, ever with someone he actually fell in love with.

The day Victor Nikiforov showed up at the hot springs, he knew his entire life was going to change. Everything changed, actually. His weight, his skating abilities and even his confidence had grown since the feeling _shit Victor fucking Nikiforov was inspired by me_ had finally set in.

The _Other Yuri_ had been somewhat of a hit, insulting Yuuri often, but when Yuuri accepted his feelings for Victor and found his Eros, his skating just- clicked. Victor was staying.

And so, apparently, was his crush. Even though it was damn obvious Victor was straight, even though he'd had a steady girlfriend for six months, every time Yuuri tried to tell himself to move the hell on you douchebag, he simply couldn't. The way his coach made him feel, how utterly important Yuuri felt around Victor and how he felt like he was actually considered a fucking genius in some sense of the word, he couldn't let go of it.

The first time it struck him how deep he was in this crush was when he saw Victor and his girlfriend kissing. It wasn't intentional, simply going to practice a half hour early and seeing them dancing on the ice. He felt so, so- protective. Jealous. Like Victor was Yuuri's, like he had some fucking claim on this guy who only thought of him as the kid he wants to coach.

Yuuri will tell anyone that he wanted to hate her, wanted to hate the way her hair sparkled golden in the light and how he went to her when he was upset or in need of someone's advice. Wanted to depise the fact he loved her and her entirely perfect persona. But he couldn't, because there wasn't anything wrong or evil about her. She was just dating the guy he was irrevocably in love with.

One night, after restlessly trying to sleep after an especially dreadful day full of wondering endlessly 'will they stop fucking touching each other god fucking damnit that's supposed to be mememe' and wanting to die because no, it isn't. He will never be her.

With a burning desire to skate everything away, try to scratch out every goddamm desire to be his, to hear Victor say in his Russian accent 'boyfriend' in reponse to what exactly they are off the rink, to scratch out every fucking thought he'd ever had, every fantasy he'd created in his brain of his feelings ever being reciprocated.

He ran to the rink, ran away from the springs and Victor and his Girlfriend and everything that has happened since Victor randomly showed up and decided, 'I'm gonna be Yuuri's coach and unintentionally fuck everything up as he falls in love with me.' He hurriedly changed into his skates and started playing a song whose lyrics has been constantly swirling untamed in his mind for some time.

The song starts off when his Girlfriend arrives, approximately one week after Yuuri had been skating with Victor. Her bright smile, as bright as Victor's hair and absolutely fantastic mind, how she helps Victor surprise the audience. Slowly, Yuuri falls into the void, doing a quadruple Salchow- landing it but not fucking caring - and Yuuri starts growing increasingly more pissed as he notices the fact he will never be adored, not the way his Girlfriend is. Never like he's the only one he can think about, like he's everything Victor has.

The song slowly creeps to the second verse, where Yuuri realises- he is so fucking stupid. To ever, even for a slim margin of time ever believe Victor Nikiforov, celebrity ice skater and in his eyes the best out there, could fall for him. After all, Yuuri is but another late bloomer, not naturally talented and definitely not fantastic. Average. Basic. Ordinary. Unlike her.

Without realizing it until after the song ends, he'd started crying. Brushing them away fast, he skates over to his IPod and shuts it off, until he realises Victor is in the doorway, mouth agape.

Yuuri simply nods at him before grabbing his IPod, taking off his skates as quick as he can and slipping out the doorway, feeling even worse than we he got here in the first place.


	2. That would be Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor had been lying himself for six godawful months, six months repeating to himself 'you gotta fall in love you can't love him you can't be gay.' After accidentally walking into Yuuri skating an impromptu program, everything he's been avoiding becomes suddenly unavoidable.

Victor was in an even worse state. Yuuri skating to a song that basically screamed 'Victor I am so fucking in love with you' but not actually telling him- that honestly destroyed Victor.

He was gay. He knew he was; he knew he liked boys, he knew he had fallen for some old friends of his but he downright refused to acknowledge it. He would rather fucking lie to a girl and say he loved her when, slowly, achingly he fell for Yuuri.

It began with the small things he did; the way his eyes sparkled just the tiniest bit when he landed a quad, how he always covered his stomach even after he lost the extra weight. The fact that despite he knew he wasn't naturally gifted, wasn't- perfect, like Victor was, he continued to skate and compete and simply try. 

Than became his ever so shy tendencies, he did become slowly more confident (something he personally loved to see, Yuuri changing and growing.) How everytime Victor touched his waist to adjust his position, laied on his shoulder whenever he was feeling especially tired, Yuuri winced the tiniest bit. Victor's heart defalted each time, noticing how especially sensitive he was. Whether it's because Yuuri had feelings for Victor and it hurt to have him touch Yuuri that way or because he didn't like touch, he wanted him to feel comfortable.

Victor had avoided everything. Not that he'd admit it to anyone, he kept a journal, just a collection of random thoughts he'd had during the day and worries and a few questions he needed to get down on paper and out of his head. He wrote since November how much he loved his girlfriend, how happy she made him and recently tried to kid himself that he could marry her. But he never, ever mentioned his attractions to his friend. The kid he was coaching.

Until now, until Victor had walked in on Yuuri crying during an impromptu program he was doing to a song sang by a girl with a slight accent in her voice. Singing words of unrequited love and pain and, and- want. Absolute, stinging want. Of wanting to be with this boy that plagued her mind and feelings and made her feel so good yet so fucking small.

To say the least, he was stunned. Stunned at everything, quite frankly. Stunned at the fact Yuuri was in love with him there isn't other fucking thing it could be, stunned at how long Victor avoided thinking about how he loved Yuuri, plain and fucking simple. Stunned at how he couldn't bring himself to say anything, even when Yuuri was taking his skates off.

Far too late, Victor turned, but Yuuri had been gone for quite some time. Cursing and swearing and wanting to hit something, anything, he hurried outside, running in the biting air and trying to get to the hot springs to talk to Yuuri, to fucking accept himself or at least acknowledge. He's far too old to avoid something so important. Labels didn't matter in the slightest to him, but lying to himself wasn't the path he needed to continue going down.

Bursting through the doors, he found Yuuri sitting in the light of a lamp in the corner of the room, eyes red but not crying anymore.

"I don't want anything," Yuuri murmured, not exactly cold but... stoic. "I just want to fucking stop being the way I am. To stop falling for you every time I see your face and to stop mulling over every perfect shitting thing about your girlfriend, trying to find something to hate but there just isn't. She's perfect. Just like you." He looked up at Victor, laughing bitterly. "What a simply splendid fucking match."

He walked, slowly, to where the younger boy sat. He slid down next to him, putting his face in his hands.

"Yuuri, out of every person I know, I expected you'd notice this," Victor sighed and looked at him. "I am not perfect. Not at all. I might have lied about a few things in the past, God, I still lie. I'm lying to myself right now."

Yuuri looked at him quizically, begging him to continue.

"I am not straight. I don't like vagina. Not in the slightest," Victor smiled a little bit. "But I don't want every part of my career being about how gay I am. How I'm not applauded on an amazing Salchow but how damn, that fucking move proves how gay he is. If I were to come out that's all it would ever be."

Grabbing Victor's hand, Yuuri leaned into him.

"I don't know what we'll do. But this, this is enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING LIKE I HAVENT WRITTEN IN SO LONG AND I JUST GOT A SUDDEN URGE TO WRITEWRITEWRITE UNTIL NOW I THOUGHT MY WRITING WAS KINDA SHIT BUT ??? YALL SAID IT WAS GOOD SO IM TAKING YOUR WORD
> 
> this is inspired kinda sorta by when by dodie clark and the part of hamilton™ where eliza was like 'that would b enough' yeah im sorry im a theatre gay
> 
> ONCE AGAIN THANKS YALL I WILL B UPDATING EVERY DAY FOR THE NEXT WEEK OR SO BC I WANNA GET SOME ONESHOTS (not rly but idc these kinda. connect) IN SO WHENEVER YOU CAN GIVE ME SOME POINTERS)


	3. 6/10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is stressing over everything going on- Yurio still being in Japan, him not knowing what music he's doing for his program and why the fuck Victor hadn't broken up with his girlfriend yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry im so batshit crazy abt getting this up on time and im going to a friends house tonight so idk when/if id b able to upload so im doing it at 10:30 on November 21 it fucking counts yall aight  
> inspired the tilIniest bit from dodie's song 6/10 more or less im gathering inspo for each lil. chapter. from songs. boi just u wait until the last chap ur gonna wanna kill me but lmao no ragrets. pleasE enjoy and comment bc I love reading the lil words of encouragement u leave me bc I need constant validation ANYWAYS ENOUGH RAMBLING ENJOY A V ANXIOUS YUURI

Yuuri, to say the least, was pissed. Not just because his younger namesake had been taunting him all afternoon after he fucked up a quad, but because Victor was inviting the both of them to a small little 'taunt Yurio because it's so pretty clear that he's not gonna win' party. When Victor had told him about it, during one of their evening 'chat sessions,' Yuuri had been quite, how would you say, quite ready to fuckin roast the shit out of Yurio.

But now, he wanted to avoid every one. He was feeling shitty already because Victor still hadn't ended things with his girlfriend and seeing them holding hands when they left after practice hurt so much and flared that spot of his mind that knew he was Victor's, she wasn't, so stop touching him and by fucking god stop looking at him like that.

Add the fact he still didn't know what music to use for his program and you can say Yuuri isn't feeling the greatest. Maybe not horrible (he hadn't snapped quite yet,) but not fantastic. Like a six out of ten.

In his room, Yuuri flopped onto his bed with the springs screaming at him, "Get off me you fat ass," and proceeded to scream into his sheets for about a minute. He really, really didn't want to go to that damn party. 

"Yuuri?" A knock came at the door, accompanied by a voice that still sent chills down his spine.

"Yes?" Yuuri asked, raising his head to stop his voice from muffling.

"I'm coming in," Yuuri scrambled to his feet, fixing his hair in the process and watched as Victor stepped into his room, barren of all possible signs of his teenage obsession with the skater.

Victor observed Yuuri's clothes, still sweat drenched and rumpled from him screaming into his bead. A smile formed on his face as he told him he might want to start getting ready, but Yuuri was unresponsive. He just... looked nowhere, eyes glazed over. Worry hit Victor in a wave, and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Yuuri are you, okay?" The concern dripping from his coaches voice dragged Yuuri from his reverie of thinking about what songs he could possibly try to make a program for.

The boy nodded, still somewhat distracted. "Yes, just stressed. Thinking about some shit. I don't know if I'll be able to make it to the party tonight, Victor."

Victor sat him on the bed, taking his hand as he held the younger to his chest.

"It's finally set in," Victor mused. "Don't worry, Yuuri. Everything will get taken care of."

Yuuri was silent, thinking in his head no everything will definitely not be taken care of because Yurio was still here and the Girlfriend was still here and the fact Yuuri had no fucking clue what the hell he was to Victor, all he knew was that he was a good kisser.

"She's still here." Yuuri said, simply to break the silence. "She's still fucking here and I understand the reasons you don't want to end things but goddamnit Victor I can't continue to see you guys holding hands and I know it's not real between you too but it still hurts. It hurts because that isn't me. It won't be me. I don't mind that, exactly, but I can't be making out with you every fucking night but than know you're going to be holding hands and kissing another girl in the morning."

Victor was astonished. Astonished Yuuri had so much actual pain and anger in his voice, the amount of jealousy that seemed to radiate off of him. 

"I'm sorry, Yuuri," Was all he could think to say. Victor wasn't the type of person to lie, so he said nothing. He didn't know if he could break up with this girl now. He didn't know if he could, period.


	4. A love song from Hasetsu/A non love song from Russia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor's girlfriend found him lying with Yuri after his breakdown and left for Russia, but with Victor. She's pregnant, apparently. And getting married. To each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight so Episode eight yall is BAD THE DOGGO RISIIWIDKF like ??? they didnt mention that kiss but I honestly dont care bc victors dog means so fucking much to him like we can assume hes had the same dog since yurri had victor ( doggo victor ) which was so Long UHhjaosofkf
> 
> anyways someone actually hecking guessed what was going to happen I APPLUAD THEM ekskososnf but theres gonna b a thing lmao

He was gone. With that God forsaken bitch ass girl friend at his that is now knocked the fuck up. Yuuri was devastated- his coach and now ex-boyfriend left for Russia and his career is now, well. Kind of nonexistent.

It was all in a blur; Victor was holding him to his side, hand intertwined with his and comfort radiating off of him when the all-too perfect girlfriend ran in, tears in her eyes even before she registered her significant other was holding hands with another guy. From then, it was shouts of "You're cheating on me with- with him?" and far too convincing murmurs of "No, no dear he was just nervous and I needed to calm him." Maybe that's all it was, but theres so much Yuuri could've used as blackmail. But he didn't. Because what she said next made him want to fall into the ground, past the mantle of the earth and into the molten core.

"I'm pregnant, Victor. Pregant with your kid."

It was almost out of those over dramatized American television shows, except real. Heart wrenchingly nonfictional, enough so that Yuuri couldn't do anything except walk out unnoticed, out to the rink. He'd had enough.

With that, two days later and enough fights with Victor equivalent to that of a married couple, he'd gone and the news had already spread around town and around social media.

Yukko tried convincing Yuuri he'd be okay, to just ask Celestino to take him back. But he couldn't, it just wasn't the fact he didn't have a coach. It was that Victor said he didn't love Yuuri. Not in the way he thought he could, that is. When he'd said that, in Yuuri's dim room the night before he left. Tears had been streaming down his face, from anger and sadness.

"Just say you're not in love with me. Just look me in the eyes and say you love this girl and I mean absolutely nothing to you. Make me believe like I was just a fucking fling for you." And so, this was simply another marvelous sad-ending love stories, where one person was still in love with a person who thought it was over. Done.

What made Yuuri the most upset, though, was the fact he couldn't tell anyone. He suffered internally, all anyone ever asking is if he was continuing his career and what he'd name the fucking kid. He skated, day in and out, never on his Eros program or the Yuuri! On Ice program either. On a different one, more... emotional. 

'From Hasetsu,' Is what he called it. He skated it so often, changing the choreography if he found it didn't fit once he got closer and closer to finishing it. Yukko got pissed about it, saying he doesn't have time to work on some choreo he wouldn't perform this year. But he'd decided, finally- he couldn't continue. Not without Victor. Not without knowing if he truly didn't love him.

~~~~~~~~

And Victor- he was undecidedly finished. With everything. With ever trying to accept his sexualites, his feelings. He was going to be a goddamn father, for Christ's sake. Whenever happened in Japan was simply a memory. Over. In the past, unchangeable. But not unforgettable.

Whenever he found himself thinking back to how much Yuuri loved to kiss him, how he enjoyed their nighttime meetings more than anything else, he banished it as quickly as it was thought up. He couldn't fucking trust himself to think about him and not go back to him.

Despite however many times he'd tried to tell himself he wasn't in love, he always had this small part of him saying 'no, dear, you love him.' But he couldn't fucking thing about it. He reminded himself over and over and over again he had a responsibility, he could be happy married to her. Maybe coaching Yurio instead of going back to skating, because he couldn't ever skate against Yuuri. Not ever.

One night though, approximately a month after he came back to Russia, his fiancé and him started going at it. She wanted to know if he was lying about Yuuri, and he said no, of course not, she didn't believe him. Because she had seen the way Yuuri and him snuck glances at each other during dinner at Hasetsu, had walked past Victor whispering how absolutely hot Yuuri looked on the ice at one of his performances. She said that she thought she could forget it and get married to him and raise their child together, but she said seeing Victor mope around for the next sixty years wasn't something she could deal with.

"I love you, Victor. But it's obvious you don't love me," She turned at this point, pointing to the door. "Just go back to your boyfriend. Please."

And he did. He texted Yuuri, telling him that he wanted to coach him again. Yuuri first said no, no fucking way, but after they called and Victor explained how his ex wanted Victor to be happy, and how he was so happy and felt so completely himself with Yuuri, everything was... okay.

"And Victor," Yuuri said, and Victor could practically see the smile on his face.

"Yes?"

"I may or may not have made a new program."

And so, their love story continued. Maybe a little bit cliche, a little bit unconventional, but entirely and undeniably beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry but Please comment and leave a kudos aight bc I love writing and idk its a simple thing that tells me yall enjoyed anyways SEE YALL TOMORROW (fun fact im writing this on the twenty second but im uploading it on thanksgiving to buffer things)   
> HOPE YALL R HAVING A GOOD THANKSGIVING BYEEE


	5. A/N

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JUST AN AUTHORS NOTE BC I JUST REMEMBERED A THING

ill delete this later but basically I just remembered I have shit I procrastinated and I need to get done bc its rly important and its like. gonna take me two weeks. so uh. idk ill post when I can but I have an actual one shot coming out soon. aight. adios. gn.

**Author's Note:**

> hi yall its ya boi from texas this is my first fanfiction ive written in like. two years. scream at me if you want but my friend gave me this idea after screaming at me ' IMAGINE IF VICTOR WAS STRAIGHT BUT YUURI WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM AND IMAGINE HIM SKATING TO ADORED BY HIM AND VICTOR BEING LIKE OH SHIT ' im sorry im so fucking gay for this show. also JOHNNY FUCKING WEIR IS GONNA B THE DEATH OF ME HE'S SO GOOD MY GAY BEAN BOI god I hate the fact im like 9 yr old me,,, wanting to skate but not having the body type or availability of a rink
> 
> adored by him is written by the marvelous dodie clark check her out on YouTube @ dodleoddle # spon
> 
> anyways please leave some kudos and comments id love to hear yalls thoughts until than though please dont die AND PLEASE LEMME KNO IF U WANT MORE BC I WILL WRITE ONE MORE PART BC ALEX IS A DICK AND GAVE ME ANOTHER IDEA


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